


rubatosis

by rainieNiqhts



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: F/F, Haikyuu!! Hey Hey Hey Scribe Tribe, How Do I Tag, I'm Bad At Tagging, My First AO3 Post, My First Fanfic, Not Beta Read, Useless Lesbians
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-24
Updated: 2020-10-24
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:15:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,371
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27182996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rainieNiqhts/pseuds/rainieNiqhts
Summary: Yachi is a lesbian and in the middle of the night it turns out Shimizu is too.
Relationships: Shimizu Kiyoko/Yachi Hitoka
Comments: 2
Kudos: 26





	rubatosis

### rubatosis

n. the unsettling awareness of your own heartbeat

“Hitoka-chan?” Out of the corner of my eye, I see her; she’s the prettiest girl I’ve ever known. She is the one who taught me so many things, helps me with my homework, and always asks if I am ok. She is my light, my idol, and oh my goodness what am I thinking, now is definitely not the time-  
“Y-yes?” Oh god-  
"Finish what you’re doing. We have to talk."  
Time freezes - I can’t even bring myself to look up at her. It’s like I’ve been paralyzed by the waves of my own thoughts crashing down on me. I can feel every beat of my heart pound on like a marching band. The sound fills me, completes me, and it’s the only thing I can think about, the only thing I will think about. It takes me everything not to let go of the net I carefully rolled up just moments before and scream. What does she want from me? Did I do something wrong? Is my hair ok? Oh, how did it come to this?

I knew exactly how it came to this.

It came to this during my first year, approximately 3 weeks and 4 days after school had started (not that I was counting). Thursday morning just after my second block had ended I saw her for the first time. A ghost, she drifted through the halls yet every head in the vicinity turned to bask in her glory. I was one of those people. I couldn’t help but wish that I’d see her again.  
With my luck, I should have known what would happen next.  
She stopped right in front of me and waved a piece of paper in my face, yet I couldn’t understand anything she said. I was drowning in the sound of my heart, every beat filling my lungs. Apparently, we were in agreement and she was shaking my hand up and down. I thought, “Why would a goddess want anything to do with a lowly peasant like me?”  
It turns out that the volleyball club needed a new manager after the third-years would retire. It turns out that the only first-year not in a club was me. It turns out that the one person I had chosen to love in a school of hundreds just so happened to be the one person that I would be stuck with for the rest of the year.  
Before I knew it, I was trapped in the snares of her overwhelming beauty, infatuated with someone who would never love me back. But I hoped, oh I hoped - daydreaming in the middle of class, wondering about how a beauty mark could make someone look so angelic. Maybe I was obsessed (I definitely was), maybe I was crazy (I for sure was), but I was going to do it anyway. I was going to do something, anything, to try and tell Shimizu…

What was I thinking‽ There was no way that Shimizu liked girls. She only thought of me as a friend, a freshman who had way too much anxiety for her own good. 

<><><><><><>

“...Hitoka-chan?” Shimizu looks at me strangely, “are you alright?”  
“Y-Yes!” I quickly nod and go back to rolling up the net. I hope that my cheeks and ears aren’t as chile red as they feel. She smiles softly at me and quickly turns away to help pick up the balls that were scattered about.  
I feel like screaming.  
There it is again, the endless booming of my heart. It pounds in my ears and I just want it to stop.  
I have no clue what she wants from me. And the thought of having to talk to her, one on one, makes waves roar through my stomach. I’m going to be sick. I for sure feel like it.  
But the only thing that I can do right now is let Hinata help me put away that stupid net that keeps slipping out of my sweaty hands. 

Soon enough, the club members start piling out of the gym. One by one they leave, until it’s just me and her. The person that I had the hugest, most ridiculous crush on. That person also happens to want me to talk to her. Why why why why? I can’t stop the words from running laps in my head. She’s never wanted to talk to me before, so what does she want now?  
She smiles again and slowly walks to me.  
“I’ll be locking up the gym right now. Do you want me to walk you home? We can talk along the way.”  
I can only nod as she closes the lights and lets the huge metal doors fall behind her. She’s even prettier in the moonlight, my stupid brain thinks. Now was not the time. 

The sound of crickets chirping and the soft pat-pat of our footsteps dance through my ears as we walk in the plush grass. I gaze up at the comforting shine of the moon; its soft yellow glow illuminating everything in its wake. My shoulders fall down and I feel the breeze flow through the strands of my hair. The night air was good for me. The walk was good for me. Just being outside was so good for me.  
Thankfully, nothing we had talked about before pops into my mind. The gooey night air had my brain on autopilot and I almost relaxed. That is until she turns to me for the first time since we left the gym.  
“You’re wondering why I’ve asked to talk with you.”  
With those few words, my heart decides it’s a good idea to start its taiko again and my cheeks were back to that state she had left them before. Every single beat radiates through my chest and rattles my ribcage. She just said a few words… I try to think but at that point, all rational thoughts are thrown out in the hurricane of anxiety and flusteredness.  
I can’t do anything but wait for her to continue.  
“I was wondering if we could spend some time together. Just the two of us. I know a really good coffee shop that sells the best chocolate sweets.”  
No.  
No no no no no no no no no no no no no no no absolutely not.  
This was not happening.  
What was happening?  
“Hitoka?” For the first time in my entire life, she looks anxious. Shimizu looks anxious.  
“Did I say something wrong?” Her voice wavers like a leaf in the wind, leaving behind a trail of broken shards of glass. I have no idea what to say. What am I supposed to say? I’d never been in any kind of situation like this before.  
Wait did she just ask me out?  
“I-I...really? Yes of course!” I can’t believe the words come out of my mouth. She stares at me. Her eyes are wide and her mouth makes a small ‘o’.  
“Thank you.” She smiles brightly and takes my hands into hers. I know that right now I am going to spontaneously combust and die. “I really like you a lot, Hitoka-chan.”  
“I-I do too!” I jump and look away from her prying eyes. She closes them and lets out a laugh that can only be described as perfect. Shimizu lets go of my hands only to intertwine her fingers with mine just moments later.  
It’s just the two of us walking in the sweet summer night.

<><><><><><>

The walk home was filled with our honeyed chatter, and the tips of my cheeks hurt from smiling so much. Never before had anyone seen me for more than just an extra in a play. But Shimizu was different. I knew it from the beginning, and I couldn’t have been more right. She was an angel  
But the best part was, I didn’t have to worry anymore. I didn’t have to feel that constant anxiety living at the back of my throat. I didn’t have to hide a part of myself away from the world. I could just be me, and that would be enough. 

And for once, I didn’t mind the constant pounding of my heart in my chest.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic ever...and it's so bad xdd


End file.
